Guns, Bottles Or The Easter Bunny? | April 24 2020

Introverts rejoice, for thy time is now. 

Ok, just do your best. We know it’s hard for you but you’re home, alone, with your friend Netflix. You’re in your safe space. It’s time to open up and let out a small

"yay"

And then rest for a bit, it's been a big day.

The reason you should celebrate is that the extroverts have lost control of the world. They've gone the way of the dinosaurs, only with a microscopic organism doing the damage, in place of a comet.

It's time to make way for the INTROVERTOCENE!

Not sure what your (s)cene is?

Here are a few ways to determine if you are an introvert:

- When you take something out of a drawer do you sometimes wonder - will I fit in there?

- Does Donald trump make you itchy? (trick question - he makes us all itchy)

- Is there a part of you that is secretly thinking this Corona thing rocks because you might be able to read more books?

We at The Farm think that a little introspection right now is a good thing, which is why we’re pumping out newsletters weekly because now the world can listen to us!

Oh…

Here are some things extroverts can learn from introverts:

- Turn the lights off when you're not using them

- Warm up your wrists before tackling a hard cover book

- Shut up sometimes

No Han, it's Chewie's turn to fly the ship.

Yes, being trapped inside is a bummer and now we all know how Han felt when he was frozen inside the carbonite and hung on the wall at Jabba's.

Kind of useless.

But even though the world has changed, maybe forever, it doesn't mean you can't make a meaningful contribution, you just have to rethink the way you do it. Like Farmer Mindy who is releasing a Quaran-Zine each week during lock down.

It's a collection of mini zines written and created by artists responding to the current state of the world and The Farm are slated for issue #VI, so someone still loves us. Check out the link here

Now in the interests of seeming knowledgeable and not having much else to talk about because we're not making ART, here's our view from the wall:

- Australian bottle shops have been listed as essential services and drinking rates have risen by 40%
- New Zealand's PM Jacinda Adern nominated the Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy as essential workers
- And in the US Donald Trump stated gun shops should be classified essential services and kept open throughout the crisis...

Yeah I think the Easter Bunny is surprised too.

And probably wishing she was in NZ.

In some parts of the US, people are rallying in the streets against the restrictions being placed upon them in order to keep them alive.

No! I can’t stay home! It is my God given right to shoot my gun in crowded spaces!

Surprisingly, nobody is gathering en masse in New Zealand armed and carrying banners with messages like:

“The Easter Bunny takes away my right to bear arms”

No. And why is that? I'm glad you asked...

It's because New Zealand is a land of introverts.

Introverts hold all the highest offices and have passed many radically progressive reforms such as a ban on open plan office spaces and a widening of minimum drawer sizes. It is widely known that they only say fush instead of fish because they find fish too aggressive and confrontational.

But just look at the goals they've been kicking politically. Sometimes, late at night when we've had a few too many sparkling chardonnays, we think we should just give New Zealand a call and say "Hey New Zealand, could you come over here and help us out? Maybe even take over for a bit? We've given it a red hot go over here but it hasn't really worked out, so could you, you know, seriously... take over our central government?"

Think about it. We'd get a PM who acknowledges climate change, plus a bunch of great ski resorts and hot springs too! Who wouldn't want that?

But we understand New Zealand taking over Australia might cause concern in some circles, so we're not suggesting that (umm...). No, we suggest our own introverts climb out of their drawers, put down their hard covers and lead us in this uncertain time.

Because we extroverts need to know how to use this time wisely, apart from watching The Mandalorian. For instance, we at The Farm no longer have the opportunity to make exciting dance-theatre performances that cause everyone to stand up in absolute amazement at our craft and daring (Oh, and win awards... did we mention we used to win awards...?), so what else do we do? How do we not make this all about us?

...did we mention the awards?

Listen up introverts,
You can show us how we should act.
Be brave.

Because we don't need the Han Solos of this world anymore. We don't need people who randomly fire their blasters in garbage shoots and say things like “You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.” 

What we need is the Yoda's.

It's time for them to step up and leave their weird little bubbly planet, because we crave leadership that is compassionate and clear, arising from empathy, so that we might just come out of this better than we went in.

If not there's a chance we might all act like morons with blasters (or awards!) and decide that this whole situation is all about us.

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." Yoda.