Can Kevin Costner See Other Dimensions? | January 2020
Happy New year!
But before we get stuck into a new decade let's review last year...
2019, where to start?
Penis fish that’s where…
A plague of penis fish hit the west coast of America at exactly the same moment Donald Trump was facing his impeachment trial. Now we’re not ones to draw dubious parallels but in the immortal words of American mystic Kevin Costner “if you build it they will come.”
Now you might be thinking about Trump’s impeachment and how come it took so long…
Or...
Maybe, like us, you’re thinking “What are penis fish?"
And we hear you. Oh God we really do! We didn’t know about them either and doesn’t it seem odd that something like penis fish might exist and this is the first time we’ve heard anything about it? Scientists claim its a rare event and freak weather patterns have led to an unusual blossoming (that’s a terrible word to use) of penis fish, but that sounds suspiciously like scientists claiming there are unusual weather patterns about the place. And we all know how tricky scientists can be…
“The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.”
US President Donald Trump
Yes Greta, we agree.
Down here on The Farm, despite winning an unprecedented amount of accolades and awards as the best small to medium arts organisation outside of America, we still can’t come to terms with the year that passed.
Which is why we have turned to the Mandela Effect for answers:
Now if a multi-dimensional universe sounds like a crock of penis fish to you then just ask yourself, was it Sex in or Sex and ?
And consider Snow White. They now claim the Evil Queen doesn’t say “Mirror, mirror on the wall...” she says “Magic mirror on the wall...”
And that's bullshit because we know what we heard!
Here on The Farm we believe that our world has recently entered a wormhole into an alternative universe.
That’s us out shopping. People are always so interested in our theories…
Anyway we think we have discovered exactly where this transference took place. On November 30th, 2018, at 1.37pm, coordinates 34.6037°S and 58.3816°W, this happened:
In that moment the world as we know it split into two.
In our dimension Donald Trump walked offstage. Cue penis fish.
In another, better dimension he stayed on stage to pose for photos with his hair. Twelve months later he and his hair were impeached and forced to leave office. No penis fish ever flopped onto Californian beaches because in that reality they didn't exist.
In that reality there was a global shift throughout 2019 towards the acknowledgement of climate change because the facts were so obvious. In that reality the majority of the world’s leaders somehow collectively agreed it wasn’t normal to have Pacific nations under water.
When bushfires hit our country in that reality, our PM cancelled his Hawaiian holiday to stay in Australia and make policy changes in acknowledgement of the climate crisis. Both major parties agreed on the changes and for 2 minutes and 23 seconds they stopped shouting at each other in parliament.
In that reality 2019 was a watershed year where people’s trust in democracy began to renew itself, much like our Great Barrier Reef which responded to regeneration plans being implemented and perhaps to the news that the Adani coal mine had been permanently halted.
In that reality Behrouz Boochani was one of a number of refugees and asylum seekers given permanent residency in Australia.
In that reality our Indigenous people were recognised in our constitution.
In that reality there was a Federal Minister for the Arts who believed in art as a necessary aspect of our society.
In that reality there was a sense of accomplishment and pride in our nation and in ourselves.
Back in this world we have a lot to deal with.
Collectively we have to rally together and fight for what we believe in. If our opinions differ we should at least listen to each other and realise we're all in this together. And in that light we're naming this:
THE YEAR WE GET OUR SHIT TOGETHER!
Because any other reality just doesn't bare thinking about.
So on the dawn of this new year we at The Farm wish you the best of decades and dimensions, one where the penis fish go back to where they came from, the fires are out and we all acknowledge what is happening in our world, because our time is up.
"When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment, or the moment defines you."
Kevin Costner